tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-88086136306872791072024-03-08T00:57:10.676-06:00Uruk's Black BoxThe other stuff I think about.Urukhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05913837011380611461noreply@blogger.comBlogger60125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8808613630687279107.post-48231460128976325492010-11-20T16:24:00.004-06:002013-07-07T22:26:29.544-05:00***End of File***I have not given up on blogging, but I will not post here any longer. This web log is now defunct. I will only keep it here for historic reasons.<br />
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If you want to read anything that I'm currently writing, then visit my newest blog:</div>
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<a href="http://happinessinculcate.blogspot.com/">Happiness Inculcate</a></div>
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I also have my original blog: <a href="http://2nonbelief.blogspot.com/">My Dirty Little Secret</a></div>
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I won't blog at MDLS nearly as much as my newest blog. However, I won't consider MDLS dead just yet. I may post there from time to time, but I have nothing to say there at the moment that isn't ready being said very well by lots of other people.</div>
Urukhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05913837011380611461noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8808613630687279107.post-53548097409143794672010-10-14T19:00:00.003-05:002010-10-14T19:00:03.143-05:00Real ChickenMy five year old daughter was sitting at the table, eating some chicken wings when it finally dawns on her:<br /><br />"Daddy, do these chicken wings come from the kind of chickens that goes BOK! BOK! BOK!?<br /><br />Hardly containing my laughter, I answer, "Yes, they are from those kinds of chickens".<br /><br />"So these are really their bones?? Why do we eat the chickens, Daddy"?<br /><br />Because we like the way they taste. Why else?<br /><br />My daughter hardly eats meat as it is. Now that she knows that chicken <i>really</i> comes from-- well -- chicken . . . I think she's going to end up being a vegetarian.Urukhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05913837011380611461noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8808613630687279107.post-15981233852796097642010-10-12T23:58:00.002-05:002010-10-13T00:02:18.662-05:00Too Smart for Me<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial; font-size: small; ">My son wanted to sign up and create his own login account on Cartoon Network.com. But, he needed an e-mail address to use during sign-up. So, he asked me for mine.<div><br /></div><div></div><blockquote><div>Son: Dad, what's your e-mail address?</div><div><br /></div><div>Me: Why do you want to know?</div><div><br /></div><div>Son: I wanna sign up so that I can log in and keep my profile on Cartoon Network games.</div><div><br /></div><div>Me: Am I going to get any spam after you sign up?</div></blockquote><div></div><div><br /></div><div>I was expecting to stump him with my question. </div><div><br /></div><div>But instead, my nine year old son responds with:</div><div><br /></div><div>Nope. You won't get any spam. I read their Privacy Agreement.</div><div><br /></div></span>Urukhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05913837011380611461noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8808613630687279107.post-37210822664572195902010-09-14T22:48:00.004-05:002010-09-14T23:01:58.514-05:00Part of the TeamIn my previous post, I talked about feeling "outnumbered" racially.<div><br /></div><div>Well after some reflection, I feel that I should balance that post out with this one.</div><div><br /></div><div>Though I do feel outnumbered quite often, I have moments where I feel warmly welcomed.</div><div><br /></div><div>One neighbor brought us cookies when we moved in and gave us some firewood. That was very, very kind. They have always been very friendly towards us since we've moved into the neighborhood.</div><div><br /></div><div>On the soccer field yesterday, my daughter played in her first scrimmage game. She got to play as much time as anybody else. She was treated just the same as any other child, in my view.</div><div><br /></div><div>That's all I can ask for.</div><div><br /></div><div>And when the game was over, the parents form two lines that face each other. We then reach out and touch our raised hands together. Then, our kids run between the two lines that we've made as though they are running through a tunnel. </div><div><br /></div><div>They loved it!</div><div><br /></div><div>And at that moment, I didn't feel outnumbered. I felt just as my daughter did. I felt like I was part of the team.</div><div><br /></div><div>That was a great feeling.</div><div><br /></div><div>And to top it off, our little girls won their scrimmage game 4-0.</div><div><br /></div>Urukhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05913837011380611461noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8808613630687279107.post-17356233852710371432010-09-12T16:00:00.002-05:002010-09-14T23:02:21.719-05:00OutnumberedI generally try to remain anonymous. I've tried not to reveal too much about myself as far as demographics are concerned.<div><br /></div><div>In this post, I will break away from that trend a bit. Otherwise, I cannot write about my true feelings on this subject matter.</div><div><br /></div><div>I've been living in a new city, neighborhood, and house for about two years as of the date of this post. Same state, mind you. Just a smaller suburb outside of the capital city. Overall, I enjoy living here compared to the capital from which I've moved. But, I feel quite outnumbered where I live because . . . well . . . I'm a minority.</div><div><br /></div><div>I guess that goes without saying; if you're outnumbered, you're in the minority.</div><div><br /></div><div>But, I'm a demographic minority; A <i>racial</i> minority.</div><div><br /></div><div>In that regard, my family is unique on my street.</div><div><br /></div><div>That's not a big deal.</div><div><br /></div><div>But when I go to the park with my family, we are often <i>unique</i> "demographically" speaking in that situation, too.</div><div><br /></div><div>When I take my kids to soccer practice, I look across field and scan the seven or eight other teams practicing various sports only to find myself and my son or daughter as the only dark skinned people around.</div><div><br /></div><div>When my kids stand at the bus stop . . . it's all the same story.</div><div><br /></div><div>Sure, this shouldn't be a big deal.</div><div><br /></div><div>And usually, it's not.</div><div><br /></div><div>But sometimes, I feel like people look down on me and my family. I feel sometimes that people wish I wasn't present-- as though I've ruined their day. My presence rubs in the fact that the town is not exclusive to only one kind any longer . . . <i>whatever that's supposed to mean</i>.</div><div><br /></div><div>Some days, I feel like a mangy dog that someone finds to be pesky and bothersome; perhaps even repugnant. </div><div><br /></div><div>I feel sometimes as though people see me as the bringer of blight to the community-- as though my visit to the park heralds the commencement of the perfect neighborhood's downfall.</div><div><br /></div><div>No . . . no one has been cruel to me. No one has been offensive or mean to me. The few neighbors I've talked with have mostly been cordial.</div><div><br /></div><div>But most people ignore us. And then, there are those who deeply frown at us when we pass by.</div><div><br /></div><div>See . . . in the South, people smile and wave all the time to most people who pass by. People say "hello" and "good-morning" to total strangers <i>constantly</i>. As a matter of fact-- in Southern culture, to not greet someone with a "hi" or a slight wave is considered insulting to most people who or products of Southern culture. You don't have to wave to everyone, but you are expected to wave back if someone speaks to you . . . within reason, of course.</div><div><br /></div><div>So, to "not speak" or snub someone who greets you <i>can be considered</i> quite insulting in the South. At the very least, ignoring someone is often perceived as snobbery or coldness. This behavior can possibly draw comments out of other Southerners such as "ya <i>damn Yankee</i>".</div><div><br /></div><div>This is said under the breath or behind the Yankee's back, of course. </div><div><br /></div><div>We ain't known for our hospitality for <i>nothin'</i>.</div><div><br /></div><div>But when snubbing happens between races, the words <i>Yankee, snob, or cold</i>, aren't used. Especially if the one doing the snubbing is a Southerner.</div><div><br /></div><div>The word most often used in that case just mentioned above is: <i>racist</i>.</div><div><br /></div><div>So, what am I to think when my neighbor of two years from across the street never acknowledges my existence even as we pass by on the street?</div><div><br /></div><div>When out at the park, what am I think when my greetings are returned with a snub or a sour grunt and a furrowed brow from other parents?</div><div><br /></div><div>And what should I think when someone dons a <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flags_of_the_Confederate_States_of_America#The_Confederate_Flag">Rebel</a> flag on their hat, T-shirt, or F-450 pickup truck? How about when they draped it in their window like a curtain or fly it high with a really tall flag pole in their front yard? </div><div><br /></div><div>I don't know what I'm <i>supposed</i> to think. </div><div><br /></div><div>But I do remind myself that I mustn't be hypersensitive. I remind myself that not everyone feels comfortable "speaking" as we say and not every frown is wish that we'd pack our things a leave town.</div><div><br /></div><div>I think these things, then I just take a deep breath and carry on.</div><div><br /></div><div>I carry on and hope that one day we all get past our ancient evolutionary circuitry and finally see all people as simply <i>people</i>.</div><div><br /></div>Urukhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05913837011380611461noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8808613630687279107.post-77337292012783208722010-09-10T20:00:00.000-05:002010-09-10T20:00:01.199-05:00TacosAt bedtime, my wife told our five-year-old daughter to pick out a "good-night" shirt for bed.<div><br /></div><div>She crawls off into her closet and emerges moments later with a shirt.</div><div><br /></div><div>She proceeds to put in on, but then pauses.</div><div><br /></div><div>A furrow forms in her brow and with much gesticulation she says, "Momma, this shirt smells like tacos!"</div><div><br /></div><div>We haven't had any tacos that week.</div><div><br /></div><div>As nasty as little kids can sometimes be, she was sophisticated enough to put that shirt into her hamper and pick out another.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div>Urukhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05913837011380611461noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8808613630687279107.post-76105474840383146712010-09-09T21:34:00.004-05:002010-09-09T21:38:38.951-05:00Out of the Mouth of BabesKids really know how to cut you down.<div><br /></div><div>I had lost some weight, but I still have a long way to go. I have a hefty gut and I really need to trim it down for my health. And well . . . I haven't been working out like I'm supposed to be lately.</div><div><br /></div><div>Enter my five year old daughter, who lovingly pats me on my tummy and asks, "Daddy, are you having a baby?"</div><div><br /></div><div>What can I say? That's what I get for getting off track and eating that hamburger tonight.</div>Urukhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05913837011380611461noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8808613630687279107.post-59294041995265004872010-09-08T23:54:00.001-05:002010-09-08T23:56:41.967-05:00HumpvilleSo, my wife asks my mom if she'd keep our kids for a few hours so we can have some time together.<div><br /></div><div>My mom quips, "So, where are you two going tonight . . . <i>Humpville?</i>"</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>Moms know how to make you cringe, huh?</div>Urukhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05913837011380611461noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8808613630687279107.post-47230541066031540552010-09-03T00:36:00.004-05:002010-09-03T00:45:34.011-05:00MongolJust finished watching the movie <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mongol_(film)">Mongol</a>, then after that, set up a tftp server for work. Getting ready to get some sleep. But before going to bed, I just wanted to make a quick post about the movie.<div><br /></div><div>Overall, I really enjoyed that one. Very beautiful scenery, in my opinion. </div><div><br /></div><div>I just hated seeing how hard life was depicted for the main character. That was hard to watch at times.</div><div><br /></div><div>But I guess if I were ever treated like that and lived to tell about it, I'd try to conquer half the planet, too!</div><div><br /></div><div>I hear this is a trilogy. But, I don't see any other titles. I guess the others haven't been made yet.</div><div><br /></div><div>I'm interested if there will be others, but I think this movie stands alone quite well.</div><div><br /></div>Urukhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05913837011380611461noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8808613630687279107.post-6242193674787841842010-08-30T06:35:00.003-05:002010-08-30T06:51:45.119-05:00Back to School -- Again.School has already started for the little kiddies. But, only now have the implications dawned on me that my wife has decided to go back to school, too.<div><br /></div><div>Among her first assignments, she has to write a short essay on the challenges of the adult college student.</div><div><br /></div><div>I helped her proof the essay. While helping her, all the challenges she mentions have now become apparent in our personal lives:</div><div><br /></div><div>Hefty student loans.</div><div>She's nervous as hell and constantly doubting herself.</div><div>No personal time for herself.</div><div>No time with family (meaning, me and the kids).</div><div><br /></div><div>That last one translates into me having to handle the kids a whole lot more on my own. Cooking and cleaning is something I always try to help with, but now I will practically become a single dad for a few months while my wife studies for school.</div><div><br /></div><div>The kids hate it when I cook. Hardly have I seen my kids scowl so hard. Especially my son.</div><div><br /></div><div>Despite all of this, my wife's endeavors are completely worthwhile if she sees them through to completion. She's got what it takes.</div><div><br /></div><div>Now, if she would only recognize that herself and embrace that, she'd realize that everything will be fine on her first day back to school.</div><div><br /></div><div>Even if I do have to find something to cook tonight.</div><div><br /></div>Urukhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05913837011380611461noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8808613630687279107.post-25384716296548141582010-08-27T20:45:00.001-05:002010-09-03T00:36:52.415-05:00On Being FreeToday, I learned about an organization called <a href="http://www.freetheslaves.net/"><i>Free the Slaves</i></a> by viewing a <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HUM2rCIUdeI">TED talk by Kevin Bales</a>. I had no idea that modern slavery was so prevalent. I certainly believed slavery still existed-- but not in the way that Bales described.<div><br /></div><div>I then read an article where an author defended the French outlawing the burqa.</div><div><br /></div><div>I then reflected upon my freedoms, other people's slavery, and whether the French really ought to outlaw the burqa.</div><div><br /></div><div>I am moved by the efforts of <i>Free the Slaves</i>. My money is hella tight. But I think I'll budget a small, but continual donation to this organization. One day, my wife and I may even volunteer some time with this organization after we've cleaned up some financial issues in our lives.</div><div><br /></div><div>And for slavery-- that seems to be what it all comes down to. Money. Slavery is driven by the allure of cheap labor. Modern slaves, according to Bales, usually walk into the trap of slavery because they are financially destitute. A suspicious character comes into the village offering jobs to everyone. Villagers get on the truck out of desperation only to never be allowed to go back home. After they realize they aren't getting paid and don't want to risk their lives in a rock quarry for free, they villagers try to leave. Unfortunately, they only discover that they are both too far away from home and brute force greets them at the gate as they try to leave.</div><div><br /></div><div>That's when it hits them . . . they are now <i>slaves</i>.</div><div><br /></div><div>But Bales also mentioned that a process is necessary for emancipation. True emancipation isn't accomplished by simply setting a slave free. A former slave must also be given a solid education and opportunity to earn his or her own living.</div><div><br /></div><div>The United States could have benefited so much from this concept had they realized that during the 1800's.</div><div><br /></div><div>So then, freedom isn't just escaping an oppressor. Freedom must be supported with education, finances, and a will to remain emancipated.</div><div><br /></div><div>Perhaps freedom must even earned, in a sense.</div><div><br /></div><div>Don't get me wrong. Well all <i>deserve</i> freedom <i>up front</i>. But because the world has so many oppressive people living in it, freedom isn't always the default option given to all people. That's why I say it must be <i>earned</i>. Perhaps, <i>enforced </i>is a better word.</div><div><br /></div><div>But freedom must be enforced by those who want it as much as by those who lend a hand to help provide justice.</div><div><br /></div><div>That how <i>Free the Slaves</i> actually <i>does</i> free the slaves; they realized that emancipation required that the slaves be active participants in their own freedom. They must <i>want </i>to be free and they must be solidly supported while they embrace independence. </div><div><br /></div><div>And from what I can tell, the emancipated usually do.</div><div><br /></div><div>But there are times when the object of emancipation does not want freedom for whatever reason. Many African-American slaves did not know anything other than slavery after slavery was abolished in the United States. And in a sense, returned back to slavery-like conditions in many cases. Not out of love for it; Just simply because they were dumped into society as<i> second class citizens</i>. There was hardly any leverage to become independent. So, slavery in a sense still continued for a time with African-Americans.</div><div><br /></div><div>Now, I will turn my attention to France. Outlawing the burka is an attempt to enforce emancipation on people who may not want to be "free" in this sense. Of course, not all women want to wear a burka that wear them. But at least some do. Can you tell <i>them </i>not to?</div><div><br /></div><div>I agree with the goal of setting people free from oppression-- even if that slavery is in the form of religious oppression. But freeing people that don't realize they want this emancipation may be of little use.</div><div><br /></div><div>I think first, they have to <i>want </i>the be free. And those that already do want to be free, need a shelter or hiding place. They need support for their stance for freedom. Otherwise, they will be greeted with brute force for their "disobedience".</div><div><br /></div><div>Set up shelters for women who are religiously oppresses to escape and start their own lives anew might be a good idea. And for those who still <i>want</i> to wear a burka-- expose them to the opposing view point. Educate them. Whet their appetite for freedom from the burka. Outlawing the burka may only make opponents cling to it more. Besides-- if they <i>want </i>to wear it yet it's outlawed . . . isn't that oppression, too?</div><div><br /></div><div>They won't want to be free from it if they feel empowered by it. And they won't want to be free from it if defying that law becomes a badge of honor.</div><div><br /></div><div>That's my two cents, anyhow. Now see how far two cents gets you these days.</div><div><br /></div><div>I do think I can afford to give more than two cents as a donation to Free the Slaves, however.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div>Urukhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05913837011380611461noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8808613630687279107.post-46137018546438066232010-08-27T01:44:00.003-05:002010-08-27T01:53:28.978-05:00Under the WeatherI've been battling my own personal sever cold, upset stomach, a vomiting kindergartner, a sullen fourth grader, and my wife's depression.<div><br /></div><div>I just don't feel so good lately.</div><div><br /></div><div>I've been keeping up with other blogs a lot and writing more stuff on my other one rather than here, lately. I took a partial sick day. And even with that, I still feels like shit.</div><div><br /></div><div>This half of my life has sort of run out of steam lately.</div><div><br /></div><div>Man, I can't wait for the weekend.</div><div>Hell, I can't wait to finally come out from up under the weather!</div><div><br /></div><div>Whatever the hell that means.</div>Urukhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05913837011380611461noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8808613630687279107.post-40443418065442171562010-08-17T04:24:00.003-05:002010-08-17T04:33:51.718-05:00Late Night Maintenance<div>When you work with servers, you'll have those day . . . <i>er</i> . . . I mean, nights, where you'll have to work into the wee hours of the morning.</div><div><br /></div><div>On one hand, I enjoy it. I'm a night owl by nature. I love staying up until 4:00 AM -- just so long as you let me sleep in until noon.</div><div><br /></div><div>No matter how sleepy I feel, I seem to get a high around 4:00 AM or so. I'm not sure why. I just like the night air, I guess.</div><div><br /></div><div>But, I <i>cannot</i> go to bed at 9:00 PM and wake up at 4:00 AM a happy person. </div><div><br /></div><div>I don't know why, exactly.</div><div><br /></div><div>Nor can I stay up until 4:00 AM and wake up at 6:00 AM refreshed.</div><div>Nah, I'll wake up more like <i>pissed</i>.</div><div><br /></div><div>So, I'm having one of those moments where I'm waiting on some data to copy over from one server to another at 4:32 AM. I've been up since 7:00 AM yesterday and I plan to catch up on some sleep once I'm done with this maintenance job. I have to do this at a bizarre time so that customers won't be impacted too much during the day.</div><div><br /></div><div>I wish I could keep this sort of schedule all the time, but alas, I appear to be stuck in the 8:00 AM to 5:00 PM world-- the world of the dreaded "morning people".</div><div><br /></div>Urukhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05913837011380611461noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8808613630687279107.post-50960349345222259652010-08-16T00:12:00.002-05:002010-08-16T00:17:47.709-05:00UptightSeems like everyone around me is really up tight and wound up.<div><br /></div><div>My son gets very, very angry if I beat him in a game of chess. But then, he gets upset if he gets the sense that I let him win or went easy on him. </div><div><br /></div><div>My daughter wants me to let her play chess, but she really just likes to randomly move pieces around. That nice. I think that's cool that she has a great interest in chess for her age-- except when I'm trying to play a real game against her brother.</div><div><br /></div><div>And my dear wife . . . she worries about many things herself.</div><div><br /></div><div>Everyone is complaining to me or whining about something. I just take it all in.</div><div><br /></div><div><i>*Sigh*</i></div><div><i><br /></i></div><div>If it wasn't so late already, I think I'd have myself a beer and go to bed. I think I'll skip the beer and just head on to bed since I've got work.</div><div><br /></div><div>I wonder why everyone around me stays so uptight.</div>Urukhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05913837011380611461noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8808613630687279107.post-91015689671940301682010-08-13T20:41:00.003-05:002010-08-13T22:07:37.268-05:00Gettin' It TogetherSometimes I feel like I'm sinking in quicksand when I try to keep up with everything in my life. Work gets hectic sometimes; my projects seem like one continuous steam of never-ending tasks that can never get done.<div><br /></div><div>My wife and kids are a bit needy of my attention. I love 'em and they deserve all I've got. But, they sure do take all I've got without much hesitation!</div><div><br /></div><div>I do get back in return, though.</div><div><br /></div><div>Anyhow . . .</div><div><br /></div><div>Lately, I've come across a few applications that have really helped me out quite a bit.</div><div><br /></div><div><b><a href="http://www.gnucash.org/">GNUCash</a></b></div><div><br /></div><div>Money management to the rescue! This program helps me keep up with our family's spending. I've been poor with my money management lately. Now that I don't have daycare costs any longer, it's time to do some financial healing with that extra cash.</div><div><br /></div><div>GNUCash is a free, opensource program that comes with Linux, but also can run on Windows and Mac.</div><div><br /></div><div>It's a little tricky to use at first. I think sometimes powerful programs give you so many choices that you really don't know where to start. Read though the help files. Understanding how this program ticks is well worth the effort--especially if you're serious about taking those first steps towards a better financial life.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><a href="http://calendar.google.com"><b>GoogleCalendar</b></a></div><div><br /></div><div>I've gotten so busy that I need to start putting important dates on a calendar. GoogleCalendar works great for me. It's free and handy to use. GoogleCalendar will also give SMS, e-mail, and pop-up reminders for all your calendar dates and appointments.</div><div><br /></div><div>And I just like Google stuff in general. So pretty and colorful. Oooohhhh . . .</div><div><br /></div><div><b><a href="http://www.producteev.com">Producteev</a></b></div><div><br /></div><div>Sometimes, having a smart calendar just isn't enough. You day sucks when your boss asks you if you made "those changes yet" and you clearly forgot. But the e-mail is clearly in your inbox.</div><div><br /></div><div>Enter, Producteev.</div><div><br /></div><div>You can forward important e-mails to your Producteev account to build a task list so that your important reminders (be they personal or work related) won't get burried in your inbox.</div><div><br /></div><div>You can use your smart phone to also manage Producteev.</div><div><br /></div><div>And Producteev can sync with GoogleCalendar-- thus, marking dates on your calendar without you ever having to stop and log into your Google account separably.</div><div><br /></div><div>Producteev has both free and pay levels of service.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>Since I've started using <b>GNUCash</b>, <b>GoogleCalendar</b>, and <b>Producteev</b>, I finally see light at the end of the tunnel concerning my finances, my hectic schedule, and the constant onslaught of projects at work.</div><div><br /></div><div>Now, if I could only come up with a popular application of my own that generated a huge user base. Then someone like Google could come along and buy me out and send me on a permanent vacation. </div><div><br /></div><div>Then, I could forget about all those utilities that I just mentioned.</div>Urukhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05913837011380611461noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8808613630687279107.post-17103328800855419342010-08-11T21:55:00.002-05:002010-08-11T22:37:33.387-05:00Emotions Pt. 2 -- Trigger HappyI've also learned from reading Ekman's book <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Emotions-Revealed-Second-Recognizing-Communication/dp/0805083391/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1281580512&sr=8-1">Emotions Revealed</a> that the events of your past can determine how easily various emotions are triggered within a person.<div><br /></div><div>Such a notion may sound like a no-brainer, but the implications can be quite powerful.</div><div><br /></div><div>Consider this idea: when a person's emotional triggers have become sensitive due to exposure to certain situations or traumas, anything remotely similar to those events can cause very strong emotions.</div><div><br /></div><div>For instance, a person who was bullied constantly may hold constant restrained anger at those who impose themselves. When an adult, that same person can become just as angry at some being mildly pushy or bossy. This anger often comes across as an <i>overreaction to others.</i> Whereas the person who has become emotional feels justified.</div><div><br /></div><div>Here's perhaps the most important information found in Ekman's book. </div><div><br /></div><div>An abused person will have very sensitive emotions for anything that brings back memories related to abuse. So, if the abused still harbors fear, anger, or guilt, those emotions will surface very quickly and strongly.</div><div><br /></div><div>Learning this, I have found it easier to diffuse tense situations with people that I see from day to day. Now, I don't look at my wife as a hysterical, overreacting female pumping too much estrogen. Now, I see that she simply has a very sensitive trigger over certain issues because of events from her past. She is overreacting. But not because she's unreasonable or has too much estrogen. She's overreacting because she was injured by some similar event.</div><div><br /></div><div>Same thing happens with me. I have my sensitive triggers, too. Perhaps not as many since I've had a happier childhood than my wife.</div><div><br /></div><div>Be that as it may . . . now it's time that we take this knowledge and use it for our advantage. </div><div><br /></div><div>Learn where your sensitive triggers are. Count to ten or 20 before you speak if you've noticed that you're getting emotional. Especially if the emotion is anger. Anger can be justified and is many times quite necessary. But unchecked anger can cause another sour feeling-- regret.</div><div><br /></div><div>Learn your loved ones' sensitive triggers-- but, not to exploit them. Rather, learn this so that you'll know when to back down and give them a minute to vent. You'll know that it's a moment when you shouldn't take their emotions <i>too</i> personal if you know a sensitive trigger has been set off. Still take them seriously, but don't take things so <i>personal</i>. An emotion usually fades from a few seconds to a few minutes in most cases, unless you or someone else adds fuel to the flame.</div><div><br /></div><div>Learning the expressions on people's faces is very helpful, but again, isn't the ultimate goal of the book. This book will not turn you into some covert FBI agent so that you can tell when people are lying by the way they dart their eyes.</div><div><br /></div><div>But it can help you better understand what people are going through. And this understanding can help you know when to console, encourage, or get ready to move out the fucking way!</div><div><br /></div>Urukhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05913837011380611461noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8808613630687279107.post-51911305734675398952010-08-11T19:38:00.003-05:002010-08-11T21:51:17.245-05:00EmotionsI'm reading a book called <i><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Emotions-Revealed-Second-Recognizing-Communication/dp/0805083391/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1281580512&sr=8-1">Emotions Revealed</a></i> by Paul Ekman. I'm finding it to be a very interesting book. His research focuses on how facial expressions are tied to our emotions and that these expressions are universal for (but not necessarily limited to) the emotions of amusement, surprise, sadness, fear, anger, and contempt.<div><br /></div><div>But, he also delves into how we can better understand emotions as they rise up in us. He also gives tips in how to deal with the emotions of others as we better learn how to read them on other people's faces.</div><div><br /></div><div>Emotions are bound very much to our motivations and needs, or to those objects perceived as obstacles standing between us and our needs and desires.</div><div><br /></div><div>Anger is an emotion that signals something is standing between us and our goals-- and we want to move it out of the way before it thwarts us. Sometimes with violence, if we're bothered enough.</div><div><br /></div><div>Sadness is an emotion that tells others we need help. We've lost something or someone dear to us. We may feel helpless or our anger has turned into some sort of resignation. We may be going though or have recently experienced trauma of some sort emotionally. Perhaps the trauma was a long time ago, but remains unresolved.</div><div><br /></div><div>Contempt is most interesting to me. I used to simply think of contempt as <i>hate</i>. But that's not quite right, according to Ekman's research. Contempt is a feeling of superiority as one looks down on another. Contempt is someone taking pleasure in knowing that he or she is better than someone else, and therefore, it's reasonable to mistreat the object of contempt. It has been reported that terrorists often have this look of contempt before they carry out their plans. Surveillance videos and interrogation reports under the lens of Ekman's research has brought this phenomena to light.</div><div><br /></div><div>I worry about this emotion. I will be sure to look for it more often upon other people's faces.</div><div><br /></div><div>And, I will try to pay more attention to see if I ever feel the muscles in my face form a look of contempt. Once you learn how to better identify facial expressions, you can identify them a bit better on yourself as well.</div>Urukhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05913837011380611461noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8808613630687279107.post-67681334108927709582010-08-10T23:01:00.004-05:002010-08-10T23:06:08.983-05:00Back to SchoolTime for the little kiddies to start going back to school.<div><br /></div><div>Time to become a slave to the daily grind.</div><div><br /></div><div>Around here, traffic amplifies and you have to get up much, much earlier to get anywhere on time when school starts. The daily schedule simply becomes far more complicated when school starts.</div><div><br /></div><div><i>Sigh.</i></div><div><i><br /></i></div><div>My little girl starts kindergarten this year. She'll be riding the bus with big brother. That's a cute sentiment, but I wish I could enjoy it without knowing it time to start the drudgery all over again.</div><div><br /></div><div>I should have went to bed an hour and a half ago.</div>Urukhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05913837011380611461noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8808613630687279107.post-54212591866370931402010-08-05T17:07:00.003-05:002010-08-05T17:24:06.766-05:00Between Two WorldsAs I sit here, my wife's grandmother is slowly passing away. She's "stable" but her death seems imminent. She's been to the emergency room about five times this week. The last two times were in the same 24 hour period. She keeps losing consciousness. She's over 90 years old, bedridden, and blind. She loses oxygen and passes out upon any level of exertion-- like say, during a bowel movement attempt. The family keeps reviving her regardless of how tired she looks.<div><br /></div><div>On the other end of the spectrum, we have a young niece who is about to bring life into this world any day now. Her parents are cruel people who never deserved children. Funny . . . those are the kinds of parents who keep having as many children as they can.</div><div><br /></div><div>So, we have a young woman who isn't ready to be a mother in any sense. She lives with her parents who constantly threaten to kick her out of the house. She has no job (Duh! She's about to drop a baby any moment now!), no money, and no idea what life with a new child will bring.</div><div><br /></div><div>My wife and I sit here between these two worlds, wondering what we can do to help.</div><div><br /></div><div>But we only find ourselves watching helplessly as we hope for the best while bracing for the worst.</div><div><br /></div>Urukhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05913837011380611461noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8808613630687279107.post-870554239412837012010-08-02T20:52:00.005-05:002010-08-02T21:18:04.527-05:00More St. VincentHere's one more Annie Clark (aka St. Vincent) video:<div><br /></div><div><object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/4YIp1g8p5V0&hl=en_US&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/4YIp1g8p5V0&hl=en_US&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>And here's another rendition of the same cover, <i>Dig a Pony</i>:</div><div><br /></div><div><object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/lan-UQfN0zs&hl=en_US&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/lan-UQfN0zs&hl=en_US&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>And finally, here's my favorite song by St. Vincent. It's not a video, exactly. Just an upload of <i>The Apocalypse Song</i>:</div><div><br /></div><div><object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/68rXwBtNsy8&hl=en_US&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/68rXwBtNsy8&hl=en_US&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>Enjoy!</div><div><br /></div>Urukhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05913837011380611461noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8808613630687279107.post-58376123272645441242010-08-02T20:15:00.003-05:002010-08-02T20:34:57.907-05:00Raised from the Dead!Woo-hoo! I thought my <a href="http://www.creative.com/products/mp3/zenvisionm/">Creative Zen Vision M</a> player was dead, but it's not! It's back to life!!<div><br /></div><div>I let my wife borrow it during her gym workouts.</div><div><br /></div><div>Well, I fished it out of her purse to listen to some of my favorite tunes one evening. </div><div><br /></div><div>My heart sank as it struggled to boot up. The splash screen appeared, but then was replaced by snow!</div><div><br /></div><div>I tried to hide my hurt, because I knew my wife was probably feeling really, really guilty when she saw that it wouldn't boot up.</div><div><br /></div><div>My son immediately asked to have it. He loves to take things apart. He couldn't wait to take a hammer to it and have it strewn across the house in bits and pieces.</div><div><br /></div><div>But, I couldn't let go. I just couldn't. </div><div><br /></div><div>I morned for about a week. </div><div><br /></div><div>But then, I became desperate. I started reading online about the symptoms my player was having. I started reading up on how to (properly) take one apart and where I can order replacement parts. </div><div><br /></div><div>I made plans to order a new hard drive and perhaps a new battery if the pricing made sense.</div><div><br /></div><div>But before ordering anything, I made one last ditch effort and decided to just let it charge. Maybe the battery was just so low that it was behaving in a bizarre fashion. I plugged in the charger, hit the reset button with a paper clip, and watched it boot to the recovery mode. </div><div><br /></div><div>There, I just let it sit and soak in the power.</div><div><br /></div><div>And Lo! After charging for several hours, my Creative Zen player was filled once again with the breath of life!</div><div><br /></div><div>My wife promises to never touch my player again. I don't believe her, though. And I don't mind if she sees it again. I think her only crime was simply not charging it now and then. Yeah, she borrowed it for <i>that</i> long.</div><div><br /></div><div>But my son is very disappointed. He though he had a new toy to break.</div><div><br /></div><div>Boy, am I glad I didn't let him have his way with my MP3 player! I would have been sick if I had found out later that it still have a fighting chance! Just sick!</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div>Urukhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05913837011380611461noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8808613630687279107.post-32752114307157218652010-07-31T01:12:00.004-05:002010-08-11T21:44:25.298-05:00IDE to USB-- Oh, So CoolOne of my wife's co-workers has become a good friend to us over the years. She helped keep our kids while my wife and I were out of town. A favor like that is hard to fully pay back.<div><br /></div><div>Before our out of town trip, our friend ended up with a computer virus on her laptop. I cleaned it off for her and gave it back to her-- all nice and clean again. She gave me a gift certificate to a really high class restaurant in exchange for my help. Sweet!</div><div><br /></div><div>I will work for food . . .</div><div><br /></div><div>But not long after that, her computer wouldn't boot at all. It wouldn't even go through the Power On Self Test routine (<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Power-on_self-test">POST</a>). That's bad news. Something isn't <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Solder">soldered</a> properly to the mother board any longer or something. That reaches a bit beyond my skill level. I don't go around soldering mother boards. I think it might be time to learn, though. If I had soldering skills, I could probably fix a lot of things that would otherwise be thrown away.<br /><br /></div><div>Anyway, after getting a second opinion about her laptop, she is now in the market for a new computer or a new mother board-- which ever comes cheapest.</div><div><br /></div><div>She can by a netbook or mini laptop for the quoted price of a replacement motherboard. Hmmmm . . .</div><div><br /></div><div>But what about that poor hard drive of hers? Nothing is wrong with it to my knowledge. I think her laptop is totally suffering from bad wiring. If only I could somehow access her hard drive. I could make an image of her OS and restore it to her new laptop and everything will come back as though nothing happened.</div><div><br /></div><div>I conceived of such a device in my mind's eye, but didn't know what it was called or where I could find one. I didn't know if anyone even made such a device.</div><div><br /></div><div>A few days later, I watch my co-worker plug in a hard drive into some <i>gadget thingy</i> that he just bought. He told me that it converted a computer hard drive into a USB drive.</div><div><br /></div><div>That's just what I imagined I would need! Awesomeness!</div><div><br /></div><div>I ordered one the same day. It can convert SATA drives and IDE drives (even from laptops) into a USB drive. You plug it in and your computer and you can see the drive. You can make a disk image, scan the drive for viruses-- what ever you want! The <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Vantec-CB-ISATAU2-Supports-2-5-Inch-5-25-Inch/dp/B000J01I1G/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&s=miscellaneous&qid=1280557847&sr=8-3">SATA / IDE to USB 2.0 Adapter</a> is awesome!</div><div><br /></div><div>I made a boot-able disk image that's ready to restore to any other hard drive. Once our friend gets her new netbook, I can restore her Windows image to the new computer and all her programs and personal information will reappear like magic. Or, if we do get a new motherboard, she'll have a backup of her laptop. If another virus comes along, we can just scrub the hard drive and restore the last good image.</div><div><br /></div><div>Tonight, I feel like a technological Jedi.</div><div><br /></div>Urukhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05913837011380611461noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8808613630687279107.post-82347630023607705192010-07-29T19:00:00.002-05:002010-07-30T21:52:16.438-05:00St. Vincent<div>Over the past few years, I've become a fan of <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/St._Vincent_(musician)">Annie Clark</a>'s music (aka <a href="http://www.ilovestvincent.com/">St. Vincent</a>). I think she has a strong voice with a tinge of quirkiness that makes her stand out. Also, she appears to be an excellent musician and a good composer.</div><div><br /></div><div>To me, she's a musical artist. Not just a singer.</div><div><br /></div><div>I subscribe to her news letters, which come out once every few months. She's on tour performing work from her second album, <i>Actor</i>.</div><div><br /></div><div>One of my favorite songs come from her first album, <i>Mary Me</i>.</div><div><br /></div><div>Her newsletter had a link to <a href="http://music.wbez.org/">WBEZMusic</a>. She's featured on their page doing a live rendition of her song <i>Actor Out of Work</i>. Now that I've done a lot of reading on emotions and human nature, I like this song even more. I suppose that would make sense because I've come to respect acting far more than I once did. Executing a believable portrayal of emotion to an audience takes skill.</div><div><br /></div><div>Singing a neat song that also carries philosophical undertones about the phenomena of acting takes skill, too.</div><div><br /></div><div>Anyway, I just thought I'd embed the video of her street performance her. You don't have to like her music. But I like it, regardless.</div><div><br /></div><object width="400" height="225"><param name="allowfullscreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><param name="movie" value="http://vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=13523037&server=vimeo.com&show_title=0&show_byline=0&show_portrait=0&color=ab050d&fullscreen=1"><embed src="http://vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=13523037&server=vimeo.com&show_title=0&show_byline=0&show_portrait=0&color=ab050d&fullscreen=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowscriptaccess="always" width="400" height="225"></embed></object><p><a href="http://vimeo.com/13523037">St Vincent performs for WBEZ Music at Pitchfork Music Festival 2010</a> from <a href="http://vimeo.com/wbez">WBEZ</a> on <a href="http://vimeo.com/">Vimeo</a>.</p>Urukhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05913837011380611461noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8808613630687279107.post-90124423786109890902010-07-28T18:17:00.005-05:002010-07-30T22:04:26.334-05:00Caveat EmptorI had the good fortune of reading the book <i>Influence: Science and Practice</i> a few years back.<div><br /></div><div>That has helped me to look back and see when I have been taken advantage of in my life. I can also better tell when someone is trying to bullshit me into buying something I may not need or want.</div><div><br /></div><div>The goal of most sales people is to take away all your excuses for turning down their product. They want to convince you that your purchase is a "no-brainer".</div><div><br /></div><div>That's exactly the problem; they don't want your brain involved in the process.</div><div><br /></div><div>A pair of salesmen came along to my house peddling home security systems. They rolled out about every sales tactic found in the <i>Influence</i> book that I read.</div><div><br /></div><div>First, they insinuated that the alarm system was "free".</div><div><br /></div><div>Yeah. <i>Uh-huh.</i> </div><div><br /></div><div>This was a setup for the "low-ball" technique.</div><div><br /></div><div>They also said that this was a promotion only being done for about maybe three houses in the area.</div><div><br /></div><div>That was the tactic of scarcity. Make something seem precious, and people will want it. I would be foolish to turn down a rare opportunity.</div><div><br /></div><div>They got me to admit that I would want a security system. They got me to verbally acknowledge that having a system would increase the value of my home and make my wife and children feel so much safer. If I say "yes" to this, then I would be foolish to say "no" to the system if it were "free". They even had zeros in all the blanks on the contract showing that I wouldn't owe anything at all if I signed up. They even said that I could try it for a week, and have the service turned off if I don't stay with the plan. The equipment would even be mine to keep!</div><div><br /></div><div>Then they shove the contract at me and try to get me to sign it while they "see" if the company has enough money in their advertising budget to follow though with this exclusive "promotional" offer that I've been given.</div><div><br /></div><div>Had I not known about these kinds of sales tactics, I probably would have signed without even reading the contract! </div><div><br /></div><div>And I would have found myself <i>royally pissed</i> about week later when I realized that I didn't get what I had expected. Worse-- I would have been locked into a three year contract paying for something that I thought was <i>totally</i> free.</div><div><br /></div><div>Since I <i>could</i> recognize that they were being aggressive, (though they were such polite and nice fellows on the surface) I went into critical thinking mode and starting asking a ton of annoying questions. I slowed things down a bit because they were trying to ram this sell down my throat despite how gentle they came across in conversation. </div><div><br /></div><div>After all, maybe they do have a good product. I like what I see. Even when you get a decent deal, you've got to wade through a lot of the sales fluff you get during a purchase.</div><div><br /></div><div>But, I'm not buying if I don't know <i>exactly</i> what I'm getting into.</div><div><br /></div><div>Up front.</div><div><br /></div><div><ul><li>I finally find out that you DO have to pay $50.00 a month for the monitoring of your home.</li><li>You DO get locked into a contract of three years.</li><li>You do get a grace period to try the product. But it's NOT a week. It's only three days.</li><li>The techs will come out and fix any problems for free-- but only for the first 120 days.</li></ul></div><div><br /></div><div>I wouldn't have known any of these things, if I hadn't read the contract right there in front of them and challenge them on all the contradictions between their speech and their contract. The contract itself even says, "Do not sign this form if you don't understand the terms of this agreement and have not read this contract in it's entirety".</div><div><br /></div><div>See why you should read the contract?</div><div><br /></div><div>Now, here are some pros in the <i>product's</i> favor:</div><div><br /></div><div><ul><li>The company head quarters did receive awards for their customer service recently.</li><li>Their product seems to have quality, seems solid and appears to be quite advanced.</li><li>They are very affordable. My wife really, really wanted an alarm system a few years ago, but we didn't get it; Too expensive. I would have to pay lots of money up front for the equipment, get a phone line, and <i>then</i> pay their monitoring fee. Here, I only had a monitoring fee. That's a huge savings compared to the offer I received a year ago.</li></ul></div><div><br /></div><div>I still didn't like the sales tactics they used, but I was impressed with the product and even the price (which they try to hide for as long as they can). Since I knew I had three days to cancel, I gave it a try.</div><div><br /></div><div>I did my homework some more during the grace period. I tested out the system. I read up on the company.</div><div><br /></div><div>I discovered that most people like their service when they know what they've gotten into. But most people hate the company when they unwittingly signed a binding contract without understanding the terms of agreement.</div><div><br /></div><div>There seems to be a dichotomy between their product and their sales force. The product seems worth having if you want a security system. Their customer service is even award winning. But, the sales team will eat you alive if you don't stay on your toes. So buyer, beware!</div><div><br /></div><div>I can deal with $50.00 a month for three years if I know that's what I'm signing up for. I CANNOT, however, deal with $50.00 a month if someone surprises me with that news a month later!</div><div><br /></div><div>After doing my research, I have decided to keep the system.</div><div><br /></div><div>I called back to see what I would have to expect if I wanted any enhancements or upgrades. They started trying to sale me more stuff after giving me the prices for all the upgrades I asked about.</div><div><br /></div><div>I told them I'd like to sleep on it. They tried the "scarcity" thing again. If you hang up . . . you might not get this deal from my manager later.</div><div><br /></div><div>"OK, well, that's too bad for me then. I'll call you back if I'm interested. Thanks."</div><div><br /></div><div>I did the math. I know what I want in the future <i>if</i> I upgrade. And I know that I don't want their exclusive deal that supposedly discounts the upgrades I want.</div><div><br /></div><div>By now, you might be saying to yourself, "Uruk, you said that you recognized all of these sales tactics, yet you still bought the product. Weren't you still fooled by them anyway?"</div><div><br /></div><div>Possibly. But, the way I see it . . . I didn't treat this situation like a "no-brainer". That's what the sales guys wanted. Rather, I walked into this knowing what I'm getting. So the difference is that I purchased this knowing the terms and agreeing with them, rather than having terms I don't like or didn't realize imposed upon me later.</div><div><br /></div><div>In short: I bought the system of my own free will because I evaluated the product. I <i>did not</i> buy the system simply as a reflex to psychological cues. I don't think I'll be waking up in the morning wondering, "how the hell did I get trapped" three days later. I walked into the deal with my eyes wide open.</div><div><br /></div><div>At least, I think.</div><div><br /></div><div>Caveat emptor.</div>Urukhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05913837011380611461noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8808613630687279107.post-75226711259107958812010-07-20T22:09:00.003-05:002010-07-20T22:18:24.038-05:00Where the Money GoesI feel as though I'm a personification of the father who is talking to his son in this classic <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schoolhouse_Rock!">School House Rock </a>video. I didn't understand this cartoon short as a kid, but boy, oh boy, do I understand this one now.<div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>Where the Money Goes</div><div><br /></div><div><object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/5Z8uw1zjjiE&hl=en_US&fs=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/5Z8uw1zjjiE&hl=en_US&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object></div>Urukhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05913837011380611461noreply@blogger.com0